21.10.08
17.10.08
sign of the times
so, after talking with brian today about fema and their disposable coffins and their containment camps and martial law....
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0P-hvPJPTi4
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wYp85QMJd1Q&feature=related (in case you havent seen this BS yet)
the end of the world is exciting, i guess. Im not going to promote or demote anything about conspiracy theories because they are, by and large, retarded (i guess that was a demotion). I do want to think about my role in the mess though. I dont think it's the end of the world. Maybe the end of America. But what kind of attitude is appropriate if that is the case? People don't understand if i tell them i have no hope in my country and instead have hope in my God. Now that doesn't mean being apathetic towards what happens in the US and not hoping for a revolution along with most other people i know, but if it doesn't happen, despite our best efforts (which honestly, are pretty meager), will I really care? If the country did 'go under', life would get substantially harder. But i don't know what that would even look like, except that it would suck, for everyone, simultaneously. It's dumb to say "well it's going to happen anyway, so i won't try to make it right." I want life to improve for the millions of people living here for which life is getting more difficult, not to mention the rest of the world. But at the same time, I really think that it will happen at some point, maybe not in my lifetime, maybe so. For thousands of years, people have been saying "the end is near; tomorrow, probably, is when it's coming." It kind of seems like an easy answer to say "I trust God, not my country, or my government, or even myself." That can be a ticket to not really do too much, or maybe just to accept what is going on. Lately i've been on the news like a bee on the honey, and the more you do that, the more you get pretty sure that we are totally f'ed. The dichotomy of a Christian's viewpoint- hoping in a happy afterlife, expecting the end to come at any time, but also living in it and trying to ease the suffering- is a funny thing.
I've been trying to understand how terrible it must be to have someone die that you love and to know, in your heart, that you will never see them again. Or whether I can even believe it, whether I really think I will see my brother, my aunt, again; in some magical place. On one front that seems like a pretty huge denial of grief, but i've lived through it, and i can honestly say 'hey, it's totally fine.' There are others who may never get over something similar, or (probably) way worse. Am I the crazy one, less in touch with reality, and is that a bad place to be? And what can I do to help other people with that? Not much, it turns out. God is good, you've gotta believe me. Okay, my job is done. I guess.
and, to end on a lighter note, watch this - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eOFRIWx5F9c
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0P-hvPJPTi4
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wYp85QMJd1Q&feature=related (in case you havent seen this BS yet)
the end of the world is exciting, i guess. Im not going to promote or demote anything about conspiracy theories because they are, by and large, retarded (i guess that was a demotion). I do want to think about my role in the mess though. I dont think it's the end of the world. Maybe the end of America. But what kind of attitude is appropriate if that is the case? People don't understand if i tell them i have no hope in my country and instead have hope in my God. Now that doesn't mean being apathetic towards what happens in the US and not hoping for a revolution along with most other people i know, but if it doesn't happen, despite our best efforts (which honestly, are pretty meager), will I really care? If the country did 'go under', life would get substantially harder. But i don't know what that would even look like, except that it would suck, for everyone, simultaneously. It's dumb to say "well it's going to happen anyway, so i won't try to make it right." I want life to improve for the millions of people living here for which life is getting more difficult, not to mention the rest of the world. But at the same time, I really think that it will happen at some point, maybe not in my lifetime, maybe so. For thousands of years, people have been saying "the end is near; tomorrow, probably, is when it's coming." It kind of seems like an easy answer to say "I trust God, not my country, or my government, or even myself." That can be a ticket to not really do too much, or maybe just to accept what is going on. Lately i've been on the news like a bee on the honey, and the more you do that, the more you get pretty sure that we are totally f'ed. The dichotomy of a Christian's viewpoint- hoping in a happy afterlife, expecting the end to come at any time, but also living in it and trying to ease the suffering- is a funny thing.
I've been trying to understand how terrible it must be to have someone die that you love and to know, in your heart, that you will never see them again. Or whether I can even believe it, whether I really think I will see my brother, my aunt, again; in some magical place. On one front that seems like a pretty huge denial of grief, but i've lived through it, and i can honestly say 'hey, it's totally fine.' There are others who may never get over something similar, or (probably) way worse. Am I the crazy one, less in touch with reality, and is that a bad place to be? And what can I do to help other people with that? Not much, it turns out. God is good, you've gotta believe me. Okay, my job is done. I guess.
and, to end on a lighter note, watch this - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eOFRIWx5F9c
12.10.08
sick day
i reworked this painting until it was better. the phillies lost today. i have been deathly ill for the last 3 days, which were coincidentally the 3 days i worked this week. i have a post to write, about revolution and the afterlife, but i want to sleep tonight instead
6.10.08
october
seriously. this is all i have to show for a months worth of blog negligence. i did clean my room, too. i like the weather.
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